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Essays

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On Coming from Being vs Doing

Often, we start with doing. A few months ago, I was working with a senior engineering leader about his massive to-do list and how to stay on track. The decisions in front of him weren’t clear. Should he do some of these things, none of them, all of them?

On Coming from Being vs Doing
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Change Your Models, Change Your World

People often ask, "What do you do with your clients?" The most direct answer is that I help people create the things they want by helping them understand and change their model of reality. What does that mean? Each of us contains a "model" that looks like the answers to

Change Your Models, Change Your World
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What's Behind Your Largest Fear?

One of my favorite personal development techniques comes from a poster we had at Facebook in the early 2010s. The sign read, “What would you do if you weren’t afraid?” A meme went around the office to answer this question and post it for your coworkers to see. Mine

What's Behind Your Largest Fear?
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How Much is Coaching Worth?

The question “How much is coaching worth?” should be inverted. Instead, ask, “How do I find a coach who helps me get the most value from my life?”

How Much is Coaching Worth?
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What You Want as a Direction, Not a Target

Often, during my work, I ask “What do you want?” and the wonderful person I am coaching responds, perhaps predictably, “I have no idea!” I have been there too. This happens all the time in my own coaching with my coach Chris. Why do we lose our ability to call

What You Want as a Direction, Not a Target
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To Be Happy, Dissolve Your Story

One of the most valuable things I can do for my own happiness is to dissolve the story given to me by the narrator in my brain. Who is the narrator? I use this term to describe the biased, judging part of my brain which looks at the stream of

To Be Happy, Dissolve Your Story
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Your Thoughts Are Just a Lousy Compression of Reality

An overview of some of the recent work I've been doing inspired by Bryon Katie and Michael Neill.

Your Thoughts Are Just a Lousy Compression of Reality
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Proving vs Expressing Yourself: A Mindset Shift to Unlock Creativity

On the freedom that comes from viewing life as creative expression vs as a journey of accomplishment and proof.

Proving vs Expressing Yourself: A Mindset Shift to Unlock Creativity
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Normal Life vs Fantastic Life: Choose Your Time Horizon Carefully

Your time horizon can be the difference between becoming a drug addict or a billionaire. Choose wisely.

Normal Life vs Fantastic Life: Choose Your Time Horizon Carefully
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Seeing My Awareness Like a Camera

A useful perspective I have adopted is to think of my awareness like a camera. A camera does not experience all of a space — just the parts of the space that it happens to be pointed toward – and a camera does not remember everything that happens — just what it ends

Seeing My Awareness Like a Camera